Crazy? That's an Understatement!
by CV Ping
Summary: Three people living together.. When their lives get turned upside down! Based off of LolliDictator's manuals.
1. That One Fatal Mistake

A/n: Based off of the manuals by LolliDictator, and one by dogsrule because I am like, in love with that character. As well as the joke future plans I have with my friends~

Disclaimer: Hetalia? I own not. Trust me, you would know if I did.

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><p>It was just another day, right outside of Ontario, Canada. (Yes, everyone loves Canada. Whoop-de-doo.) In a nicely sized house, just a short drive from the city, lived three companions. Or, as the eldest of the three called them, "sisters". Let us introduce you to the sisters who couldn't possibly be sisters because their birthdays were all in the same year, in the same two weeks.<p>

The eldest was named Kristin Garza. She was the tallest of the (a bit short) group, with long, brownish-black hair, usually tied in pigtails or curled, and caramel colored eyes. She was the most cautious of the three, a well-known germ phobic person, book smart, and preferred to not attract attention to herself. She, personally, could care less about what was about to happen to them on any other day. Really, she was like the oddball of their group, though, in this case, oddball means normal.

The middle sister was named Natalie Black, or Nat. Nat, with her shoulder length blondish-brown hair, greenish-hazel eyes and glasses, was undeniably the most "awesome" (according to some people.) of them. She didn't really enjoy excitement, preferring to sit somewhere in the house, watching some kind of comedy anime (and was often joined by the youngest), or writing. She was, as some put it, "an extremely proud Irish-American", and had a strange habit of speaking Engrish at times.

The youngest was Rose Schmidt, with dark auburn hair right past her shoulders, and blue eyes. She too wore glasses. She was the one who usually got the most attention, but was, as she put it "socially awkward", and a little bit of an oblivious person. She took great interests in all things foreign, and did most of the cooking around their house. Much like Nat, she too had a love for her heritage, and had a habit of randomly speaking bits of other languages, though mostly German, or what she remembered of Italian and Spanish.

Now that you know who lives here, let's get on with the actual story, shall we?

As it was, the current events of the house were a bit typical. Kristin had kicked Rose out of the kitchen and was making enchiladas. Nat was sitting in an armchair in the living room, working to finish a novel on her laptop. Rose was up in her room, sulking and trying to get some work done for some design company who's name isn't really important. It has taken this long to realize that you have no idea what these three do.

Kristin is the only one who doesn't work at home. She's a lawyer in Ontario, taking up cases from higher class people to your every day law breakers. Nat is a novelist, working for a local publishing company. Rose is in the graphic design field, often doing jobs for local companies. She is the one who is going to lead us to what this story is about, so let us get back to her.

Rose sighed, clicking out of Photoshop. She was too distracted to work. Or too lazy. Either way she would finish this job tomorrow. Depressed with her previous kicking out of her own kitchen, she had decided to escape to the sanctuary of her bedroom. Since trying to get some work done obviously was not going to work for her, she settled on her second option: the internet. And the ever-addicting game of Tetris. Unfortunately, she did not get to play her Tetris. For while clicking off of random internet adds, her cat, Liotni (he was named after something. What, well, that's unknown.) decided to grace his slave with his mighty presence, by jumping onto the computer desk, and therefore causing her hand to slip and accidentally click on one of the adds.

"CONGRADULATIONS. WE WILL SEND YOUR FIRST ORDER SHORTLY"

"Oh crap…"

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><p>An again: Nooo, Rosie! What has you done? ... Oh well.

In case anyone wants to know, even though I don't see why you would, I found all but Nat's last name on the internet. I was trying to find names that fit the characters' heritage. So, Garza, Black, and Schmidt. Also, I just now noticed that Schmidt is in Prussia's last name. But, it is a very common name in Germany. So I'll leave it. .. Also, contrary to what you may believe I did not stare at the name Vargas for five minutes when I found it on one of the lists, nor did I click it to discover that the name means "steep hill". Not at all.

Well, I'll leave you to your lives. The next chapter will probably be out soon.. Ish. Until next time~


	2. Google it, Kristy

Still no own~

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><p>By the next day, Rose had forgotten all about the incident on the computer. Currently, she was back in the kitchen, experimenting with her spaghetti sauce, and singing "Let it Rock" at the top of her voice. For some reason. Huh. She was an okay rapper. Well, she had lived in America. It's a well known fact that Americans like rapping.<p>

"_Because when I arrive, I, I'll bring the fire! Make you come, alive! I can take you higher! What this is, for_- Huh? Oh, COMING!" Rose set her spoon to the side and walked over to the door. She opened it to reveal a man that looked about her age, dressed in some kind of delivery suit with.. A flying mint bunny on it? Oookaay. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a Miss.." The delivery boy glanced down at the clipboard he was holding, "Rose Schmidt.."

"Eh? Oh, that's me! But I don't remember ordering.." She trailed off. Liotni had jumped her and she accidentally clicked on an add. With no idea what she had ordered. "Oh.."

"Yes, oh. Sign here please." After Rose had done so, the delivery boy handed her a book. "Sorry for not sending them in order. There were some.. Complications.. With the first order, so Boss sent in the second one. I suggest being careful when you bring that in," He commented, he nodded towards a huge box on the porch, and then he was gone.

Rose stared at the box for a minute. A long minute. Then her eyes drifted to the book in her hands. "YOUNG SOO IM User Guide and Manuel.. The Hell?" She mumbled. She shrugged it off and tried to get the box into the house. It took an even longer minute to do that. With that accomplished, she shifted from staring at the box to reading the manual. Having decided that all the options for waking the thing in the box up were boring, she resorted to one of her own plans.

Rose smirked, and lifted the lid off of the box. "Oi, _cheonchi_, wake up!"

"That's not nice da ze!" A living Korea popped out of the box, arms crossed and angry-faced.

"Aw, c'mon! I was kidding!" Rose protested, "Anyway, it happens to all the hyper active people sometime! Really, I should know. Honestly some people can be so unawesome around here.."

"Rose, who are you talking to?" Nat descended the stairs, arms crossed. Then she stopped. "Rose. Why is Korea in our living room? And where did he come from?"

Rose smiled sheepishly. She was going to have a lot of fun explaining this one. "Um.. Liotni made me order him off of the internet?"

"You expect me to believe that."

A silence. "Yes."

Nat sighed. She studied her friend for a moment, then a small smile formed on her face. No, it was more of a smirk. "Personally, the awesomeness that is me is fine with our lives being invaded by the awesomeness that is a living Hetalia," she stated. Great. She was doing the awesome thing. "But, have fun explaining to the unawesome Kristy."

"Explain what to me?" Oh God.

The two turned, (or looked forward) to see Kristin standing at the door, an extremely suspicious look on her face.

"Uh well, we kinda-" ""We? Who is this 'we' Rose?" "I told you, it was an accident! And he- Hey, wait a minute! Where did Korea go?" "Jeez, Rose. Formalities. I'm sure he's fine with you calling him Yong-Soo." "What's a Young-Soo?"

"South Korea!" Nat and Rose said in unison. "Darned it all! Where did he go?" "I blame you." "I'm not the one who's cat bought him." "Don't blame Liotni!" "You did."

"SHUT. UP. Both of you!" Krisitn snapped "Now, tell me what's going on?"

"Um.."

"_Annyeonghaseyo, agassi_!"

"I think we found Yong-Soo." "Really, Rose?"

Young-Soo was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, pointing dramatically at the three. "Your breasts belong to me, da ze!" However, before anyone could react, Rose darted into the kitchen, saying something about spaghetti sauce, thus leaving the other three staring back. Then she reappeared and tackled Young-Soo from behind. She was doing that pouting thing she did whenever she wanted to act grumpy.

"Our breasts do not belong to you, Young-Soo." She muttered, glaring at the wall.

"Hm. She makes an excellent tsundere." Nat commented.

"What's a tsundere?" Kristin, ever anime-verse illiterate, asked.

"Google it."

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><p>Tanslations:<p>

Cheonchi- Moron

Annyeongaseyo, agassi! - Hello, lady!

Both Korean. *sigh*

Well~ I have nothing to say. ... Yeah, bye.


	3. And now for Crazy Fangirlism

Disclaimer: *stares at figurine box* Nope. Don't own.

_**Warnings for this chapter**_: Language..

I decided I would tell you what I listened to while writing this, because I want to.

List~: Airplanes (The Ready Set cover), We no Speak Americano (Yolanda be Cool & Dcup), Mein Gott! (Piano arrangement) Oshii Tomato no Uta (AKA my favorite! Also piano arrangement), How to Save a Life (The Fray) Deutschland (Radio Mix, Die Prinzen) x2, L'Itlaliano (Toto Cutugno), Take it Off (Ke$ha), You Give Love a Bad Name (Freaking KING of rock, Bon Jovi), Traveling Soldier (Dixie Chicks -This song makes me saaaddd. )': ), Life's Been Good (Joe Walsh, Guitar GOD.) I listen to a lot of music..

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><p>Once the house had finally gotten used to having a hyper active, grope happy Korean in their numbers, they thought that things couldn't get worse than that. Unfortunately, they were wrong.<p>

There was a peaceful mood in the house (for once). Kristin was back in the kitchen, trying to kill everyone's taste buds with spicy cooking. Everyone else was gathered in the living room, squashed on the loveseat. Nat was working on her novel again, and Rose was _trying_ to work, but she got caught up in one of Young-Soo's dramas, and the two of them were currently talking to the characters as if they could actually hear them. Well, that was probably normal. Maybe. For soap operas. Like the one they watched when Rose called one of their old technology genius friends to rig their TV so that they could watch a telenovela that Rose had found when she was doing work in Spain. For some reason. She never really specified why she had to go to Spain for a job. Something about churros and a graphic design contest or something. Oh, well.

Anyway, while the group was doing whatever it was they got up to, there was a knock on the door.

"Mmph.. 'll 'et it…" Nat muttered. Apparently she had fallen asleep. Rose and Young-Soo were too absorbed in their drama to notice.

When she got to the door.. There was no one there. Huh. Nat looked down, and automatically her eyes widened. "No.. Not those! Too! _Dia a chara, aon!" _She frowned at the two (yes, two this time. Yay!) boxes on the porch. There was note attached this time. She picked it up and scanned it over, with a frown.

_To Whomever it May Concern,_

_The company has given up completely on sending the Units in order. There's still some trouble with the first order, so we've just sent one of the newer models. There was another box here when I delivered this, and I have a feeling I know what's inside of it. Have fun and good luck. ;)_

_-HUDS_

"Good luck? _Good luck? _What does that mean!" Nat yelled at nothing in particular. She did manage to scare the neighbor's cat. She then looked downwards, towards the packets sitting on the boxes. "Oh.. That's what 'Good luck" means.." With a sigh, she pulled the boxes in. "Oi, Rose! C'mere! Kristy, you might wanna come too. Young-Soo, STAY IN THERE."

The two called upon came into the room. Rose took one look at the boxes and grinned, Kristin frowned. "Who have we got this time?" They asked in unison.

"Have a look for yourself."

Rose skipped over and picked up the manuals. Then she squealed. Like a crazed fangirl. Which she probably was. "_Mein Gott_, I love these two!"

Kristin read the covers behind Roses back, and paled. "No. Not those two. No. Bloody. Way."

"Let's open them, let's open them! Can I sing their national anthem?" "No, Rose." "Kristyyy! You killjoy!" "Shut up, both of you. We'll open them the way the book says to." "Can we not open them at all?" "Noo! I looovveee theeeemm!" "Ugh.."

After everything had settled down the trio gathered around the boxes. And stared at them. Then Rose spoke up.

"….. Can we molest their hair?"

"What the Hell, Rose."

"What? It'll wake 'em up."

"And get us killed in the process."

"How do you molest hair..?

"God, Kristin. We really have to make you read some fan fiction."

"I don't like it."

"You read SLK. Not all of it is that graphic."

"Still though.."

"Again, GOOGLE IT."

Silence…

"Yeah, I guess we can do that."

"Whoot!"

So they ripped the lids off of the Italy brothers' boxes and yanked on their curls.

Cue reaction.

They both shot up. Romano started yelling something in Italian, very loudly, and Veneziano just looked pathetic.

"Sorry, guys, we-" Nat began, only to be cut off by Rose screaming something and latching herself onto Romano.

"Get off of me, dammit woman!" The enraged Italian ordered.

"No~ You are Lovi and I love you so I not gonna let go~"

"….. The Hell?"

Kristin snickered and Nat grinned. Yep, things just got ten times more entertaining. Veneziano had taken to hiding behind Nat, and was currently grinning like the lovable little idiot he was at his brother and the girl who's name was still a mystery to him.

"Anyway," Kristin said, finally gaining her composure, "My name is Kristin Garza, this is Natalie Black, or Nat as we say-"

"And the girl clinging to your brother- like the crazed fan girl that she is- is Rose Schmidt." Nat interrupted, "Oh, hello Young-Soo, decided to join us have you? Now, since you're new here, I'll tell you a bit about me and my companions here, first, Rosie and I, we're awesome. Kristy is not as awesome as we are. If you need anything, you can ask me or Rose, as we are here most of the time, we stay here for work, Kristin does not. Lovino, the more you talk to Rose the less she'll cling to you. She'll get tired of it eventually, but if anyone asks for a hug (or doesn't) she will not hesitate to glomp you. She may also bother you two to go paint or cook with her. Because she's just like that. She is also extremely hyper, random, and occasionally just moody as Hell. But she's currently getting paid seven hundred dollars to design a six-page magazine, so yes, she does rake in the cash with her graphic design skills. Me, I am AWESOME, of course. But I write. My deadline is in three months, so DO NOT bother me unless someone is dead or dieing, unless you want to BE dead or dieing. Also, Feliciano, you are now my bitch, Lovino, you are Rose's bitch." Interrupt here with a "What?" and a "Whoo hoo~" "Shut up. Okay, Kristy is a lawyer. Don't get locked up. She's very stubborn and may not bail you out. Also, don't give her chocolate or nuts, lest she will be hospitalized and we will have to let our friend Bobby rape you. And by that, we mean stab you multiple times, tie rocks to your body, and then throw you into the nearest body of water. Any questions?"

They all shook their heads. Very. Slowly.

"Good. Now bother me, and, guess what?"

"…We die?"

"Yes. Good bitch, Feli."

Then she walked off. And that was that.

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><p>Stuffs:<p>

Dia a chara aon! (Irish) Dear God, no!

Mein Gott! (German) My God!

SLK: Seven Little Killers, an epical Hetalia fanfiction that Kristy does not like.

More stuffs: Yes, the Italian brothers are our bitches. And that is one of our friends definition of rape, it is..

How did everyone like Nat's little speech?

Funny how the inspiration for this came on, it was hilarious really. I was sitting in algebra trying to struggle against my ADHD and finish a work sheet but my mind kept straying to this Gauken high school AU idea.. That I had gotten earlier in that class.. Then my short person had me make this poster in Earth/Environmental Honors and we watched Myth Busters and then in at the end of band our circle was discussing foreign languages and the short person from honors was trying (and failing) to speak Spanish and so while I was talking to my awesome best friend I mentioned that I knew how to cuss people out in Italian she was all "of course you do, Romano." So I made this weird "tch" noise and the bell ringed.. Okay, don't know why I just said all that, but I had to mention it. Because apparently I am now Spain, Italy, AND Romano. God, make up your mind, Gil. Make. It. Up.

ANYWAY. I have to go to high school.. And my cousin's wedding is tomorrow. So yeah, busy week.. Sorry.

Review please! Vielen Dank und auf Wiedersehen~


	4. Of Trips and Evil Sisters

Track List: Mr. Brightside (The Killers) That's it. I spent the rest of the time split-screening and watching "Let's Play Amnesia: The Dark Decent. Update: Now I'm watching Hetalia. :D My ears are being molested by France's sexy singing voice as we speak. NOW some tracks:

Winter (You know who~)

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><p>They spent the nest few days in peace. By now they were sure the company was stalking them. Probably because they had been planning a trip to America for about a week now, and no orders had come in. That's totally creepy, dude. So, after a week of chaos, gathering things up, weird phone calls, and more cursing than should be humanly possible (thanks to Nat and Lovino), they finally made it back to the sleepy town they had spent their teen years in.<p>

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><p>"Ah, it's great to be back~" Rose sighed , before adding, with a somewhat creepily excited tone, "And just in time for Terror by the Creek too. Muahahaha…"<p>

"That girl is a freaking psycho.." Lovino growled under his breath.

"That she is, but she makes money, so quit complaining." Nat smacked the Italian upside the head, lightly, so as not to be slaughtered by her undeniably insane friend.

"Oh, I can't wait to see Lily and Bobby and Genevieve and-" Kristin gushed, only to be interrupted by Rose.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just go see my brat sister so we can get to the fun stuff."

"Only you, Rose."

"That wasn't even a worthy moment!"

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><p>It took a little effort and some adorableness on Feliciano's part, but they managed to save themselves from another argument and were standing in front of Rose's old house, where her fifteen year-old sister, Elise, would surely be waiting for her.<p>

Rose knocked on the door, putting on her best "so-happy-I-could-be-high" face.

Elise opened the door, she was a mirror image of her sister, only shorter, so there really isn't a need to go into detail.

She shot them a look, and deadpanned. "Who are these new moronic looking people?"

"Why you little bi-" Lovino began, but Rose pulled him to her side and clamped a hand over his mouth.

"This is Lovino and Feliciano Vargas, and Young-Soo Im. They're our new housemates." She explained. Elise opened her mouth to say something, in vain, of course. "Not like THAT, Elise. Guys, this is my little brat sister, Elise."

"Ve~ Ciao Elise!" Feliciano greeted, ever the little ball of cheerfulness.

"Hi!" Young-Soo grinned at the teenager, only stopping when Kristin smacked him.

All Lovino offered was a low "Whatever."

"Guten tag, boys," Elise said with an evil smirk, "I'm sure we'll get along just fine…"

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><p>Disclaimer: Trust me on the fact that if I owned Hetalia, you wouldn't be able to recognize it anymore.<p>

A/N: Hello~ This chapter took forever! At least it did to me. So I'm sorry for both taking so long and making this chapter so short and filler-y! But I've been really busy for the past little while, and my sister is nine now, so she's even brattier than usual. By the way, did I tell you that the OCs are based off of my friends and I? Rose is me.. And Elise is my brat sister. I'll put it Nat's siblings in sometime soon, but I've never met Kristi's brother. Sorry. Also, apparently Lo vino is a phrase. My dictionary says so.

Anyway, IMPORTANT NOTICE TO WHOEVER IS READING THIS STORY: I have decided I'm going to move this story to my other account, so my friends can access it's crack. I will move it over in a week, and when I do so, this notice will be taken down. My account is Maridionale. ;) I'm moving it so they can read it 'cause I don't want Kristi to take a look at my favorites and kill me. D: BUT- if you happen to enjoy the stories on my favorites, keep an eye out here. 'Cause I'm currently working on a Gauken AU universe story. I'm taking pairing requests, so if there's a pairing you like (and you want to read my story) drop me a message and I'll see what I can do. USUK is a given, special just for Nattie. :D I love you Nattie~ (But I still like Spamano better~)

Until next time, arrivederci!


	5. Oh, God no

A/n: Guuuys! I'm back! And I'm sorry! High School has made me quite busy. But summer vacation starts Saturday! Soo.. InTheAsylum is back in business! To make up my absence I have added a new unit in this chapter. Prease accept my aporogy. *bows respecfury*

Tracks: Lots of Paramore

Disclaimer: I think you get it by now.

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><p>Well, as it turns out, the group ended up staying in America much longer than they had planned. Mainly because Natalie and Rose had randomly decided they wanted to move to Liechtenstein. The reason? It's pretty there, and they could take a few days off and walk to Switzerland. Point is, they had ended up staying in the country until the New Year.<p>

In that time, they had met up with all of their friends with only one casualty (here we would like to take a moment of silence to remember the frog Bobby murdered for no apparent reason), a couple scratches, and about five arguments.

Also, the demons who ran the Hetalia Unit place had found them.

This was why Elise found herself on her sister's front door step staring at a box. Strange. "ROSE," the girl shouted, "COME GET YOUR STUPID BOX!"

"B-Box?" Kristy gasped, at the door in less time than should be humanly possible. When she picked up the stack of paper placed on the offending object to look at it she looked ready to faint.

"Box? Who'd we get this time?" Rose skipped over and snatched the packet out of Kristy's hand. She scanned the top and grinned. "Ooh, Nattie~ You're gonna like this one~!" She skipped back into the house to show the packet to Natalie. A moment later she too was at the door, staring at the box with an almost creepy grin.

"Yesss.." She then grabbed the sides and pulled it inside. "UNITS! IN HERE, NOW!" She shouted when she had it situated in the main room.

When the units were assembled, she took a seat on the box. "I hope you all know how to not anger a trigger-happy Swiss maniac."

"Vee.." Feliciano stared at the box, looking a bit scared.

The other two didn't really care.

"Right.. So, how do we do this without dying? Uh, Feli, you might want to go back in there for a while. We don't want anyone getting hurt here," Rose shooed the adorable Italian off to the next room. This was the kitchen, so there's a large possibility of the boy convincing someone to make or let him make pasta. After all, we all know that Feliciano Vargas is the God of Pasta. The girl then proceeded to read the choices for waking the unit up without dying. "Oh, I know how to do this!"

She disappeared and returned a moment later with a shotgun. That she shot at the wall, thoroughly scaring poor little Feliciano on the other side. At that moment the rather default Switzerland broke out of the box and began to correct her posture and instruct her how to properly shoot the gun she had in her hands.

…..

"Wait, there are guns in this house?" Kristy asked.

"They belonged to our great grandfather," Elise explained from her position leaned against the wall.

"This is bad news," Kristy said. Believe it or not, living with Rose and Nat had influenced her. Meaning yes, she knew a thing or two about Hetalia now.

Nat laughed. The presence of Vash Zwingli may have very well been causing her to go into her "Prussian Mode".

"Really bad news," Kristy corrected herself with this realization, "I need an aspirin."

So, Kris went off to find something for her growing headache, while other places in the house, Nat began chuckling manically, Feliciano found a way to make his pasta, Rose got rigorous gunmanship training from Vash, and the other two units plus Elise got bored.

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><p>An: Switzerland! Why Swissy? Maybe it's because I'm supposed to go to a place called Little Switzerland sometime this summer.

Also, Nat really did suggest that I move with her to Liechtenstein.

I'll (hopefully) see you all soon, but 'till then, TTFN! (lol I rhymed)


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